Based on my Primary School Leaving
Examination (PSLE) results, I was delighted to hear that I was offered an
opportunity to take up a third language. Upon much consideration, I decided to
take up French as a third language in the Ministry of Education Learning Centre
(MOELC), which is situated at Bishan.
I was slightly late for class on my first
day as it took time for me to leave my secondary school which was in Serangoon
and travel to Bishan.
When I reached my classroom, my teacher was already in
class writing something on the whiteboard. I knocked on the door, apologised
for being late and requested to enter and take my place in class. My Professor,
Monsieur Fremont, did not entertain me immediately. After I knocked a little
longer, he approached me with a stern face and reprimanded me for being late.
Later I learnt that the French appreciated punctuality and expected the other
party to arrive on time for any appointment. From then on, I always made special effort to
reach class on time (though I fail miserably sometimes).
As the lessons progressed on, I realised
that Monsieur Fremont established a noticeable amount of physical contact with
his students. I was culturally shocked when he placed his hands around my
shoulders as we were walking out of class together one day. At that time, I was
unsure on how to react to this sudden and unusual display of affection. When I
returned back home that day, I was feeling very disturbed. My parents sensing
my distress came to have a chat with me. After much probing, I explained the
incident to them very clearly.
After some thought my father enlightened me
that the Singapore culture is very conservative and physical contact between
people of the opposite gender in public is still viewed as disturbing or taboo.
However in the French culture, physical contact is deemed as vital to make an
interpersonal relationship more sincere. So my father advised that I should be more
open and adaptable to new cultures and that I should cultivate the maturity to react
appropriately. I felt so much better after that little talk with my parents.
Towards the end of our semester, Monsieur Fremont had already taught the class
to kiss each other on the cheek as a way of French greeting. Thanks to my
parent’s advice, I was able to respect and accept the French culture.
PS: Furthermore,
Monsieur Fremont was so hot that I would have accepted the French style of
greeting anyway ;)
 |
| I swear he looked just like this~drools~ |
Hi Loshini!
ReplyDeleteOmg really? He's that hot? Lucky you..
Indeed, many misunderstandings can surface because of different cultural behaviours. That's why it is so important to read up on and understand the culture of the country when we're interacting with people from there. It is also important to come to a consensus of how we should behave with a foreigner. Some of the things we do may not agree with what they can accept, and vice versa. Like what you said, asians generally avoid physical contact with the opposite sex.
I guess the French would be considered rude to Norwegians then. Since for Norwegians, it is rude to arrive on time for social events (I read about that on one of the fb posts)if I didn't remember wrongly, lol.
Yes Eileen he was hot:) Thanks for commenting.
DeleteHaha. Girls...
DeleteGoodness...
DeleteLike that I think the guys should sign up for KOREAN CLASS straight away
Hi Loshy
ReplyDeleteHahhaha I second Eileen. Lucky you!
I think in Singapore, people also appreciate punctuality. As you and I know, Indians somehow generally are not the most punctual people in the world. It is almost expected that Indians will arrive at least an hour late to most functions. Even within my extended family, we will always inform people that a certain function starts an hour earlier than it actually does. That way people come right on time! :D
Once again, your teacher is really hot.
Tanisha
Thank you Gladys. I cant help but agree with you. Your family seems milder than mine given that we go for the function more than an hour late sometimes;)Thanks for commenting best friend
DeleteGladys? Haha.
DeleteHahha Joel, long story. Loshini and I have been calling each other 'Gladys' since JC days (much to the chagrin of people actually named Gladys)
DeleteOmg I want to learn French at bishan too HAHAHA <3
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I second Tanisha who seconded Eileen(:0
Talking about punctuality, I have this lecturer who is really anal about lateness. Zero tolerance for that. Which is GOOD haha. It's really upsetting to see your close friends arriving late and worse, THINKING THAT IT IS NORMAL, for social events/gatherings. I have a friend who is perpetually late (~1hr) and who doesn't think much of it. Yes, it peeves ME off and apparently, people are bound to be late. Well, locals our age group, YES. It's like this habit that has been ingrained and normalised. I'd wish we would be culturally more 'positive', like the French.
Apart from lamenting, I think we need to step out of our comfort zones sometimes, esp when we're immersed in a different culture. This way, it makes it easier for us to acknowledge and accept the norms of other culture. Through this, we would also be better able to experience and appreciate the innate differences we share. Yay.
I know what you mean Kristyn. I hope you somehow manage to convey your unhappiness about your friend's inability to be punctual. I am sure she will understand. Thanks for commenting:)
ReplyDeleteHi Loshini,
ReplyDeleteWow.. The culture in Indonesia is exactly the opposite: arriving late is okay, but physical contact is a big no no.
I think one reason why sometimes we cannot accept other cultures is because we do not understand the reasoning behind those cultures. Some cultural issues might not have a proper reason. For example, the Indian nodding. I have asked some Indians about the logic and they replied "it's just like that."
However, some issues do have reasons, like touching can be interpreted as a sense of bonding between two people. Once I read a blog post about a Westerner who went to somewhere in Asia (I forgot the exact place). He found that people there did not respect him because they came home early on his party. Then, somebody replied that, in their tradition, people did that so the host can start counting on his profit or loss from the party.
We cannot find the reasons of some cultural differences, but it will be better if we try to find the reasonings first to better understand the culture :)
Thanks Mercia:)
DeleteBrudder!
ReplyDeleteARE YOU SURE MONSIEUR IS NOT A HOLLYWOOD STAR?!
Wow definitely a disturbing experience for you I think. To have someone be so physical to you in secondary school? I would have been really disturbed too!
Anyways, I think that the monsieur really should have given a more thorough introduction to the French culture - afterall he is teaching on foreign soil; and the blend of culture, literature and language is often the most effective way to enthuse a langauge student. The part on kissing on the cheek as a greeting is rather disturbing to me as well, but I guess it's because I'm not used to it since our culture is more conservative.
I do have the impression however, that the French are very sensitive people! So I guess that it would have been highly insulting to attempt learning their language and shunning their physical contact since it is their cultural norm. I am glad you enjoyed french lessons (hopefully not just because you can "touch" the teacher)!
Cheers!
Thanks brudder:)
DeleteReading your interesting story give me a new image of Frenchmen, except they are from a romantic country. I also notice that some people from other countries do not really care about punctuality, even late for one or two hour is normal, their friends do not feel angry because everyone do so. What we say is that respect other people's culture and living style is very important, especially in formal occasions, isn't it?:) For the touching protocol, which is very unfamiliar to me, some people kiss on cheek, lips, some people kiss on hand or hug, but I think the universal using one is hand shaking, it is also work in middle east countries? Anyway, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThanks Zihao:)
DeleteHi Loshini,
ReplyDeleteI like your story. It's really clear and concise, yet demonstrating well, the cultural differences between the French and Asian. Indeed, effective intercultural communication requires one to have some knowledge of the other culture. Language is another tool for effective intercultural communication; the very fact that you took a third language shows your effort and desire to want to communicate well with people of another culture (French).
Overall, this is a nice read.
Joel
ps: What made you choose to take French instead of say German or Japanese?
Thanks Joel:)
DeleteHi Loshini,
ReplyDeleteI was waiting expectantly for your offer and absolutely loved this post, which was much clearer, succinct, and more gravitas as compared to your interpersonal story which really baffled me. I applaud you for that!
I'm especially excited about the lessons you have garnered from being late in the presence of French, and the meanings of physical gestures or displays. I had my fair share of doubt and suspicion during my ambivalent younger days, and experience with a man who touched me that way in the middle of the bar, and I'm glad you found yours and came out more shrewd, because surprising encounters, even malicious ones, are prime ground beds for raising your moral, emotional, social, intellectual, and spiritual intelligence, no matter how painful or hard it would be. A girl who experienced sexual infiltration or rape has suffered terribly sexually, emotionally, socially, mentally, but in the same breath would possess vast potential for these renewals beyond the standards of their excellence she could ever have imagined, and her story would celebrate the themes 'back from the dead' and inspire lots of other women or men to come out of their own rut, whatever it is. Make sense Loshini? The whole world operates on encouragement, admonishment, and suggestion in ways of living excellently and courageously, but if at least some people do not experience evil, whether some failure, or murder, rape, divorce, schizophrenia, depression, neurosis, then how would they be made to know or make others know about courage, patience, self-discipline or some other virtue? Make sense Loshini?
To proceed I shall touch on certain aspects of your reactions and hopefully show you beyond what you already understood.
You wrote "I was culturally shocked when he placed his hands around my shoulders as we were walking out of class together one day. At that time, I was unsure on how to react to this sudden and unusual display of affection. When I returned back home that day, I was feeling very disturbed."
I'm not sure what happens between social interactions between men and women in your country, but let me assume that you were culturally shocked because you were sexually 'aroused' so to speak. You were aroused because by your local culture, physical contact very closely equates with kinship. Only your mum, dad, relatives, siblings or your future husband can be allowed to give you such touches of affection; and no stranger, especially male adult ones or any that are old enough to engage your sexual consciousness can touch you like that. Make sense? The evidence I found from which I draw my sexual arousal conclusions was the fact that you mentioned about 'displays of affection'. That's it! You understood fair enough that the kind of physical contact you felt he gave you merited an affection for you, and by corollary, and since he is a stud of a male, the affection from a guy to a girl, a lover or spouse to another, which you felt was illicit because you probably understood about paedophilia from perhaps your home and school education from more perceptive and caring adults like your parents and teachers. Make sense? Your mind had a vague idea of physical hence sexual boundaries, due in part to your becoming age and therefore still under-development of your core belief systems and values which are from your local culture primarily, but confused also with other cultures you concurrently are being fed from the globalizing information channels from various peoples from various parts of the world. Make sense Loshini? That is exactly why you felt disturbed when you return home to your parents that day.
ReplyDeleteYou fortunately had great parents, and their wisdom and knowledge impart you a sense of sexual, emotional, mental closure to the confusing ideas that, I supposed, entreated and caused you duress. I applaud such great parents, although I'd be careful with 'be open and adapt to new cultures'. That is pretty vague, and dangerous because of that. What does it mean by open? Do you mean open/throw away your clothes and walk stark naked down the beachside in your country? That's the problem with culture, it isn't always 'correct' at least if what you know as incorrect is incorrect! Make sense Loshini? And then adaptable, do you mean if there is a culture, even sub-culture to take the argument further, of orgies and gang-bangs such as in South Africa, America and Europe, you adapt to it and give your body to or participate in such events? Make sense Loshini?
You'd be pretty shocked how easily any body, guy or girl, could be convinced into such depravity as an excuse for being culturally savvy!!!! But by the time they realized better, they couldn't extract themselves from the sordidness. I'm speaking of the worst of being open and culturally adaptable, and taking things to the far extreme, but every one of us have to face, in this life, some aspect of deciding whether we should embrace or adopt less deviant looking cultures, one of which is beer drinking which one of your classmates wrote about, and which isn't as severe as orgies, I supposed!
All in all a great post, but watch that infatuation, don't take it too far!
Haha I've to admit that he's hot too!
ReplyDeleteBut I'm a little surprised that he didn't receive any complains from your class since this class is offered by MOE and we all know that MOE has really strict guidelines on how teachers should behave. Yup I agree with your dad on how we should be more open to the various cultural practices in order to act with maturity. But I know that I would have felt uncomfortable and not knowing what to do if I were you at that point of time!
thanks gladys:)
DeleteI really like this post, Loshini. You've succinctly described a couple specific incidents from your French class as a way of introducing some clear differences between a couple behavioral norms -- tardiness and physical contact - as they're practiced generally in Singapore and in France. From your telling I can easily visualize both your being late for that first class and the "touching" scene. It's also easy to imagine you returning home a bit distraught after being hugged by your professor, although when you allude to him being "so hot," I feel like you hint that you were not, in fact, so perturbed, which detracts from the seriousness of the issue.
ReplyDeleteStill, this is a very fine intercultural observation. You've also received lots of insightful and enthusiastic feedback. Great job!
I wondered about that too, Loshini. You spoke of being disturbed yet 'so hot' in the same breath, which amounts to a terrible irony. I'm not really sure if you even knew what it is you were feeling then, was it indignity of sexual treachery or the proverbial teenage romance, except this one is with an adult male! You weren't clear yourself, if you were, you wouldn't be telling us he was 'so hot'. I can only conclude, according to Brad, you were not that disturbed, if at all. On the contrary, you probably secretly in the depths of your heart absolutely yearned for his intimate embrace, which is absolutely natural to be thinking of, after all, you were of teenage and raging hormones.
ReplyDeleteOMG IAN!!! ahhhhh.. droolsssss. lol. back to topic. ah those eyes. okok. back to topic. you took third language? well me too! i took jap actually! i have a cultural situation to share about being late to class (as i am for most classes): my friend and i were late for our first jap lesson at moelc. when we came in, the teacher made it a point that we should apologise for being late in japanese. she told us we were to say 'ohsokunatte sumimasen'. our grasp of japanese language was probably as good as my grasp of calculus when i was an embryo: inexistent.
ReplyDeleteso we kinda fumbled at it before the teacher let us take our seats. unfortunately, that wasn't the first time i was late for class. in fact, we were always late and each time we were stumped at what to say at the door. so eventually i decided we should memorise the phrase (genius right?). but since we knew close to zero jap, it was hard to remember. well at that time we had a geog teacher called mrs kunna and a math teacher called mr teh. so i very briliantly suggest we should just remember to say 'oh-so-kunna-teh-sumimasen'. (sumimasen is basic jap for sorry, so that part's easy to remember). needless to say, we were still late, but at least we looked less retarded when we came in late.
ok i'm not sure if there's any clear relevance to your story but yeah, felt like sharing my moelc cultural story. anyway, back to your story, how interesting! i can only imagine how awkward you must have felt. thankfully your parents were well-versed about intercultural communication with respect to the french. i think my parents would probably have made an embarassing call to moelc or something lol. anyway, this is definitely informative and something to not take wrongly when around french people. thanks for sharing loshini!
thanks ariele:)
Delete